So, a few hours ago, I was sitting outside on a beautiful California day, wondering what I should write for you guys when I noticed one of my dachshunds lying in the grass, perfectly still, watching a gray squirrel moving closer and closer to her. Because I’m an animal lover, I’ve never encouraged my dogs to kill squirrels. I thought about getting up to scare the squirrel away, because it obviously was clueless and needed my intervention, but then, I saw how excited my dog was. She was visibly trembling, no doubt thinking how, any minute, she’d have her first kill. The squirrel was still a good 6 feet away, and I knew my doxie would still have to get up in order to chase the squirrel, which would give the squirrel plenty of time to get away. But as the squirrel moved another six inches toward her, my dachshund-terrier mix who was at the fence, turned around, saw the squirrel, and immediately went after him.

The poor squirrel was in a total jam since he had two dogs descending on him from two different directions, so he did the only thing he could. He ran into our garage. I ran after him and my now three dogs taking chase. The poor thing had climbed one of our shelves and was hiding in a open box with paint supplies. By the time I ran across the yard and into the garage, my smallest dachshund had already climbed two rungs on the ladder that was leaning against the very shelf where the squirrel was hiding. The squirrel was chattering with anger, fear, and disgust as I rounded up my dogs and put them inside the house, so he could leave.

I waited for the squirrel to come out on his own, but after thirty minutes of him not moving, and my worrying that my dogs were doing serious damage to the door by trying to get out, I had no choice but to go up the ladder and get him. As I tried to put the lid on the box he was in, he jumped out and ran behind metal cabinets. It then took me another hour to find him, block off any direction he could go besides out, and then I actually had to push him out of the hiding space he wedged himself into with a feather duster!

By the time I got the back door to the garage closed and the dogs calmed down, it was two hours later. I guess I should have gone with my first instinct and scared off the squirrel when I had a chance. Then again, I might still be sitting in front of my computer, wondering what I should share with you today.

As you know, I currently make my living as a voice actor and voice casting director, but I didn’t come out to Hollywood to pursue a voice acting career. I came out to be an on-camera actor. Unfortunately, the be-yourself-and-you’ll-do-well advice I received from my acting coach was the worst advice I could have received. I may have been given a four-year college scholarship for my portrayal of Emily in Our Town, but my sweet-girl-next-door persona would do nothing for my acting career.

I soon learned that all casting directors and agents put every actor in a category, and the girl-next-door category, which I was occupying, was oversaturated with cute girls from the Midwest. Hollywood, when I arrived, was already looking for the next best thing.

Of course, being new, just like the whole internet not catching on thing,  I hadn’t yet figured this out. I, at least, knew something wasn’t working. In my first year, I changed agents three times, paid good money to get new headshots four times, and I still only managed to get 6 auditions all year. I still wasn’t standing out for whatever reason. Refusing to give up and go home, I decided to brand myself. I gave myself a makeover, placed myself in a very specific category, and suddenly the doors opened and the work came pouring in.

Naturally, I had to write about this crazy idea and even crazier experience in my new novel titled, My Big Fake Irish Life. Even though My Big Fake Irish Life is fiction, it is based on my own true story—one that had me leading a double life, and, um…well…still has me leading a double life (gasp) with some friends and some work situations.

Kind of bold, kind of daring, and maybe a little crazy, I know, but what do you expect from someone who works 14 hours a day in the film industry—an industry where reality is relative? At least I try to make reality fun.